I remember once, my best friend asked me where do I see
myself 10 years down the road.
“I don’t know Titts, but truth be told I really wanna do something
that can give me great reward in this life, and the hereafter too. Perhaps be the change that I want to see in
this world. Who knows, maybe do something related to our religion and stuff?”
Titts answer was short, to the point and needs no further
discussion, “You do know that’s not
Ustazah-material right?” pointing to the short skirt I was wearing then.
It became clear to me shortly after that the first thing I
need to do is change myself – and change I did. I tried to dress more
appropriately from time to time, started reading Islamic books, attending
lectures and trying to improve one step at a time.
For some reason, maybe because of my apparent change, many
people seem to think that I’m already there – pious, serene and exemplary, but
truth be told I’m not even close to being one.
Here’s the thing.
A lot of people say that when they
started getting closer to God, they became content and peaceful with life – well, I’m here to tell you that’s very true…but that’s just half of the story.
Because, let’s face it – changing is
not an easy process.
Moving away from something that
you were accustomed to is hard and takes conscious efforts. In fact, the road
to improvement is seldom linear; don’t be surprised if you find yourself slacking
again from time to time. You wonder if you have improved at all – for with
every improvement you make, a different weakness will prevail, Allahu mustaan.
You don the hijab, and suddenly you’re late for Subh prayer. You pray
Subh early in the morning, and suddenly you find yourself grumbling over life.
You try to be a bit more grateful and suddenly a person tests your patience and
triggers your anger.
Because that’s just the way we humans
are – imperfect and always in constant need for improvement. That’s why I never
stopped attending lectures and reading books because by Allah, I am flawed in
more ways than you can imagine and I am in constant need of reminders and
advice.
Somebody once told me that Allah
has plant 1% of His pleasure on Earth, and the remaining 99% in Jannah. That Jannah
is soooo high up there that none of us deserves to enter Jannah except with
Allah’s mercy. A few months down the
road, I now understand what he was trying to say. I cannot aim to be perfect
for Jannah, because one can never be good enough. I can only give it my best
shot and pray that Allah will accept from me and allows my family and I to enter
Jannah with His mercy, Ar-Rahman.
So this is my another shot at
trying.
Recently, I started Ajran Centre where you will
find many Islamic resources - English and Malay books for adults and for kids,
videos , lectures and fun board games all aimed at encouraging all of us to improve
ourselves and loved ones, one step at a time. There is even a corner for you to
check out the up and coming lectures that you could benefit from. So, in your
free time, do visit this humble website that I have set up and like our Facebook page. We welcome you with open arms to be a part of this dakwah and to share it with others too along the way :)
And as always, I ask for your sincere du'a that Allah will accept from me and from you - and make this website a source of knowledge and inspiration for many. May we all be able to someday be the change we want to see in this world, insha Allah.
And as always, I ask for your sincere du'a that Allah will accept from me and from you - and make this website a source of knowledge and inspiration for many. May we all be able to someday be the change we want to see in this world, insha Allah.
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AJRAN CENTER |
